yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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