she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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