dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
