i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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