In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
