Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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