i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
