just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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