I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
