We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
