just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
