just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
