So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
