Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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