I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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