Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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