and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
