but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
