And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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