Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize