Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
