I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
