HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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