We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
