The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
