how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
