I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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