she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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