As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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