i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
