Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
