This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
