just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
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well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
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In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need water and some morals
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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