at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
