dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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