I puked a lego.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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