why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
FUCK WHALES
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
