Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
