i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
