One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it's great music for shaving your balls
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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