I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
