If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
