The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
