My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
