One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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