It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
