Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
