My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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