He asked me if I "almost moaned"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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