You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
someone threw a dead crab at me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
worst night to have a conscience
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
