i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
