I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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