she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
