I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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