last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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