I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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