just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
