you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
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come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
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She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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